While it might seem intimidating to bring up pegging in the bedroom, all you need is some trust and clear communication. As long as you’re both open to anal play and using a lot of lube, it’s totally doable.
All penis carriers have a prostate that’s filled with nerve endings, making it an effective pleasure spot for stimulation. And while it might sound icky, pegging can actually feel quite pleasurable.
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Pegging is a term that originated in 2001 when sex columnist Dan Savage asked readers in his Savage Love sex column what to call a woman shoving something like a strap-on dildo up a man’s anal canal. It’s a sexual act that has many benefits for men, but it can also feel uncomfortable or even downright kinky to some people due to its association with gay sex. It can even make some cisgender women shy away from pegging because they may fear being labeled a lesbian.
However, as the popularity of pegging grows (sales of strap-on dildos were up nearly 200% last year), it’s important to dispel some of the myths about it. So, we talked to sex and relationship experts Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of She Comes First, Julia Kotziamani, a love, sex, and intimacy coach, Kate Moyle, a sex and relationships psychotherapist, and Dr Gayle Brewer, a sexual and relationship psychologist at the University of Liverpool, about why men like pegging and how to do it.
Most men who have tried pegging say it leads to incredible orgasms, especially when combined with rhythmic stimulation (also known as prostate massage or “milking”). Many also report that it feels great for them to have their dominant role flipped around, which is an exciting prospect for some of them. Moreover, some men experience the most intense orgasms of all through anal penetration. This is referred to as anal climax and can be one of the most powerful orgasms they will ever have in their lives.
Lastly, pegging can be an intense, arousing experience for both partners and can be a way for them to explore the erogenous zones in their own bodies and find out which ones turn them on the most. Curiosity was the main reason most women said they tried pegging, while some women also enjoyed a sense of power and control.
While some women might be intimidated by the idea of pegging, they can get around it by being open and discussing their sexual needs with their partner. Kinky Ninja recommends bringing it up casually during regular conversations and sliding it into the conversation naturally when you’re ready.
Another piece of advice Kinky Ninja offers is to start small and work your way up to the bigger orgasms by beginning with just the anal canal. She says it can help to use lots of lube and ease into it slowly. She also advises that you communicate with your partner throughout the process and remember to take breaks as needed. And if you’re worried about pain, she notes that microtears are rare if you use plenty of lube and go slow and take your time.
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Like all sexual pleasures, pegging feels different for everyone, and there’s no right or wrong way to experience it. But if you and your partner are both interested, a little bit of preparation and practice can lead to a surprisingly mind-blowing (and orgasmic) experience.
The first thing to note is that, unlike genital penetration, the anal and penis have less delicate tissue, so there’s a higher risk of injury during pegging. That’s why it’s important to communicate openly about your sexual desires and expectations, and start off with oral or manual stimulation before moving on to penetration. It can also help to start with a smaller, more manageable object, like a finger or a butt plug.
Another reason some people shy away from pegging is that it involves reversing gender roles. While some people may find this a turn-on, others might find it uncomfortable or off-putting. But if both partners are clear that they want to try pegging, and can establish boundaries around this, it can be an intensely pleasurable experience for both parties.
One of the biggest draws for many women who like pegging is that it stimulates a man’s prostate, which is a nerve-ridden pleasure zone located about two inches into the anus. It’s basically the male G-spot, and stimulating it can induce a full-body orgasm that is very, very hard to beat.
Other reasons to try pegging might include the physical sensations, such as the rocking that can feel similar to dry humping (the way that most people experience their first-ever orgasm) and the fact that pegging can feel deeply pleasurable. Some couples like to add a twist to their pegging experience by adding a blindfold or handcuffs, turning the experience into an intensely sensual power play and giving the person being pegged the feeling of dominance and control over their partner.
Ultimately, though, no matter what your sexual orientation or gender identity is, if you and your partner are both keen to try something new in bed and communicate openly about it, then go for it. As with any sex, it’s always best to start slowly and manage the depth of penetration, but if you’re both up for it, a trip to the sex shop to pick out a strap on and some lube is sure to make for a memorable evening. Just don’t forget the nipple lube!